Friday, December 17, 2010

The bathroom ant

The bathroom ant

My dear tiny friend,

How came you to live in my bathroom? Aren't ants supposed to leave scent trails to follow? If so, how is it that your friends led you so astray?

I have seriously considered washing you away; I thought of putting you out of your life of lone travels through my bathroom, which I first interpreted to be a miserable existence, but I feared His Holiness the Dalai Lama would chase after me in nightmarish visions with a rolling pin. But then I soon realized that would be unlikely given what I'd done to all the cave crickets in the other end of the house. But I digress...

Where do you go besides between the shower and the sink? And why is it that I only see you, no matter the hour, on weekdays except for Friday? Do you work only four days a week?

Since you have been here for several weeks now, I take it that you have moved in. I hope you have a lovely apartment in the shower windowsill. I will not charge you rent, as I can't do math that small, and you probably don't have money anyways. But please don't get a mate and start having children. This is a single family home, you know.

Well, thanks for the company in the shower. I'll see you bright and early Monday morning.


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